Im 24 years old, I have my proper Lolita wardrobe for over 3 years and still never been part of the community. I've been envolved with J-fashion (around my young years when Visual Kei was in hyyyypeee) and cosplaying since I first been to a convention, in 2001, and still, did it shyly and timidly only with my closest friends. I was recently asked on why.
As far as I've seen since I first saw a real Lolita, this is the most solid J-Fashion group in the community around where I live, in São Paulo. Even when J-rock was in hype, and a lot of people where followers of the Visual Kei style, Lolitas where there and never perished after the hype was down. Either in Anime and Japanese Culture conventions or in events dedicated to fashion, you could always see either the same group or eventual new Lolitas popping by.
I've participated as a judge in three Lolita contests in AnimABC, when Fran Kitsune was in charge of that section. This was way before 2011, when I was one of the staff organizers of the BJD expo, in different Anime Conventions. Because I was one of the main staff and a cosplayer(for over 6 years back then) I was invited to be part of the judging table, along with Fran and two representatives of the Lolita expositors and groups there. (One of them was Kakao Pinkie Ginger).
The thing I was asked about to pay attention was more to basic than an intrinsic knowledge about the sewing, the quality of materials, the overall color palette, and the performance of the competitors, since they had to represent their style also in their manners and how they walked on our 'runaway'. The Lolita fairness and loyalty to the chosen style, as well as how it was made, and most importantly, coordinated, was something that the other judges payed more attention than I did. Interestingly, our end up grades and notes where never ever the same.
Not that interestingly actually, since I was not someone who actually studied this fashion style, although I've read something about it myself over the years, I couldnt consider myself not even remotely near an expert. The other girls where prepared to judge more than I was, and I've seen they doing Lolita way before I even started going to J-Fashion and music events. And by those times I joined them in the judging table I could realize there was more to Lolita than being cute and to wear frill dresses.
Im not even going to the brand x replica or brand x handmade dress discussion, because I really think it depends on what the girl (or brolita) wants for herself, what she can afford, what she desired, and a lot of stuff that we are not in position to judge. Like what Lolita represents in her life, her goals, what attracts her the most and such. Of course for a pageant Lolita, who wants a prize and a title, it is important not to look cheap, to be skilled in coordinating and to be prepared to explain where it comes from. We have to be honest with that. But I dont think -how-much-you-spent or where does your dress come from really matters for you to be part of it, or how awesome you might be in the circle.
What really that experience showed to me was that it really mattered more than just the general appearance. There are guidelines, basics and a style that you must respect more than just a new way of 'cosplaying'. I learned that year how wrong was to call it 'I am cosplaying Lolita' because they are two different things. And how it has a history, a base, and a very well formed community who have it in their personal routine as a real lifestyle. It is a fashion style, and not just a trend, not just a hype, and its here to stay. As it has been alive over the years.
For that, for the kind of responsibility it took, I was a little scared about joining the community for a while, I must admit. To be actually around people who were adepts to the fashion and its sub-styles as well. I ended up buying my first JSK and having it on my closet without being worn for a long long time, and when I decided to use in public, I kinda ran away from the girls in the convention(even though they were being so nice to me) because I was really scared they wouldnt like me. I really didnt want to do or say anything that ended up offending those who were more experienced than me. Because my ignorance about it was very clear to me. But I ended up realizing it was like the Ball Jointed Doll hobby, there were people open to teach, explain and most importantly, help you when you needed. Everyone knows no one is born knowing those things.
The Lolita community here showed itself through the years not as picky and closed up as I imagined, even though they take it seriously. I am really scared still tho :< Im old and funny and weird and coordinating is still hard for me. But! I gathered the guts to at least try and be part of it, and I have yet to meet anyone actually, but Im really optimistic by what Ive been seeing.
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